Are you a Competent Communicator?

There are many ways you can improve your relationship. However, knowing how to be a competent communicator with your partner is a crucial skill to make your relationship work. Canary, Cody, and Manusov, all experts in human communication argue in their book, Interpersonal communication: A goals based approach that a lack of communication competence can be associated with bad states like mental illness, depression, anxiety, loneliness, among others.

In addition, they also make the claim that communication competence is positively associated with having friends and the ability to function personally. But, how to you become a competent communicator?

1. First, you should know your motivations as an individual. What are your goals? What do you want and don't want? Knowing your motivations for personal goals is vital to understand your behavior. 
2. You must also know how to act. Once you are motivated toward a goal, you begin constructing plans to obtain it. Tend to adopt plans that have worked in similar situations instead of recreating new plans for each situation.
3. Show your skills. Perform your behaviors so that you become a competent communicator.  

In addition, you must also learn how to:

A) Adapt. The ability to change behaviors and goals to meet the needs of the interaction.

B) Be involved in a conversation. You must be cognitively involved in the conversation and demonstrate your involvement through interactional behavior. 

C) Manage you conversations. In other words, know how to regulate your interactions.

D) Show empathy. Demonstrate to your conversational partner that you understand his or her situation and that you share his or her emotional reactions to it.

E) Be effective. The objectives that you have for your conversations.

F) Show appropriateness. Uphold the expectations for a giving situations.

Hopefully all this tips will help you become a competent communicator in your long-distance relationship. Now put them to work!